Foster care has been a huge passion of mine for a very long time. Ben and I have talked about becoming foster parents long before we were married. We finally took the plunge last fall and have been licensed since December 2019. We get asked a lot of questions about foster care and I wanted to have a place on here where I answer some of those questions for everyone. Some of these questions are for our personal journey and some are about foster care as a whole.
(Since I don’t have any pictures relating to foster care, I’m going to be spamming you with some pictures of Willa…she’s just too cute not to share!)
Does it cost anything to get licensed?
Technically no, but also yes. Confusing, right? Getting licensed to do foster is technically free, however there are certain things that you’ll have to provide that may cost money. For example, we needed to purchase a fire extinguisher and a battery powered radio. We also have to have a crib specific for a placement (so we have Willa’s crib and another crib in our home). So while the actual cost is free, there are some things you’ll need to make your home ready. It’s nothing like the cost of domestic infant adoption or international adoption, which will cost tens of thousands of dollars.
Do you get paid?
As a foster parent, you get a monthly stipend for the placements in your home. The stipend goes to anything the child needs. In the grand scheme of raising children (especially children that likely have a lot of high needs), it’s not a ton. It’s not like we have another income to live off of, the money goes all to the child/children.
Do you plan to adopt?
This is a tricky question to answer! The goal of foster care is to reunify children with their parents. We want to do everything we can to support healthy reunification! However, this is not always possible. If given the opportunity, we would love to adopt. We’ll have to see what happens!
Are you worried about getting too attached?
Am I worried about getting too attached? No. Will we get attached? Yes! Attachment is a GOOD thing and it’s so important for these kids to experience attachment. Getting attached just means that we loved them well and did our job. If you are worried about getting too attached than that means you are just right for this!
What’s the process to getting licensed?
I can only share what we personally experienced, but here was our process:
March 2019: attend info meeting
September 2019: started to fill out the application and turned it in (we were debating moving at this point, which would have put us in a different county, so we waited to apply until we knew exactly where we were going to live)
October 2019: begin home visits with our social worker. She came to our home several times over the course of October and November where she gave us more info, more paperwork to fill out (there’s a LOT of paperwork that comes with foster care), and completed interviews with each of us for our home study
October 2019: did 12 hours worth of training
November 2019: we finished up all of the training, paperwork, and interviews, everything is submitted and waiting on state approval
December 2019: we are officially licensed!
Are there any strange rules or things you had to change to become certified?
I found that some of the requirements to be a little strange but nothing too crazy. For example, we have to have a battery powered radio (this is one of those things that seems a little dated, but we just bought a cheap alarm clock for like $5). Our county does not allow you to use bassinets with infant placements, I have no clue why. You have to have a crib or pack and play. (We personally have this mini crib which works great; we have one for Willa and one for a placement, this way if they have to share a room it won’t get too crowded with two full size cribs.) What’s crazy about that rule is that a county next to us doesn’t allow pack and plays but you can use a bassinet. Everything is so different from county to county! We also have to get parent’s permission to swaddle a newborn, which I don’t understand as swaddling is so comforting to newborns.
Where do I start?
Go to an info meeting! You can either go to one for your county or a private agency. Each one has pros and cons, so do some research or even go to info meetings for multiple agencies to see what fits your family the best. Info meetings don’t commit you to anything, they just help give you tons of info and will answer any questions. I also found a facebook group for foster care support in Minnesota which has been VERY helpful. If you type in your state name + foster care support, I’m sure you’ll find something helpful.
Foster care is something we are so passionate about and I would love to chat more with you about this if you have any questions. Send me and email at lifewithlismarie@gmail.com if you want more info or have any questions!
Hi I know your mother in law and saw her post this. Just want to reach out, we are also foster parents and are cut fostering two girls 22 months and 3. We have two boys already, so we currently have 4 kids 5 and under. I love what you said about attachment and reunification. We feel the same way. We are definitely getting attached to these girls and we know it will be so hard if they leave but it’s so important for them to have those attachments.
I was wondering what county you are in and what ages you are doing? I noticed you said you got a crib so I am assuming younger.
Also if you enjoy podcast I highly recommend Real Mom Podcast and her blog foster the family. It has some great resources for building a relationship with the bio family.
Feel free to reach out with any questions or just to talk. Fostercare is hard, and having other who are in the same boat is helpful. We have some close friends who fostered and it has been such a blessing.
Hi Lauren, thanks for commenting! When I nannied for a family that fostered it was SO hard for me when their foster daughters went home, but I definitely don’t regret for one second getting attached. We are are in Sherburne county and are open to ages 0-2. I’m definitely going to check out that podcast, thank you for the recommendation! Thank you for that 🙂 If you have instagram, I’d love to connect with you on there!